My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
