The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
