I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
