i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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