You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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