I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The air was thick with penises
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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