you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
