so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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