what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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