Buhtt sex?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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