Porn is love you can see.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
