I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
