By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
