I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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