garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Too much gin, very little bucket
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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