Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
