Nicole vs. Life
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
