She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
