I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
