Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
