What did we do last night that was yellow?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
