He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
