Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
