i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
