But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
