Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
