Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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