i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
