Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
