we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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