if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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