do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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