what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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