Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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