Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
