You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
