Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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