Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
