When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
