I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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