I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
