So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
