I need to stop coming to work sober
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
