she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
