Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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