That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
