Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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