worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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