awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
