i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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